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moments forever faded will burn you tonight

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[15 Feb 2007|10:38pm]
[ mood | high ]

I wrote for about an hour, it was really long. and it got deleted.

riight. [30 Dec 2006|10:49pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

i dont have time for this.

i dont even have time to breathe.


im so fucking exhausted..
im going back to bed.


2 dead streetlightkisses

where are you mrs. hutspa? [26 Dec 2006|06:23pm]
[ mood | drained ]

My finger hurts.
Tj is in a tiffy and i can do nothing to help him.

my brain hurts..

what am i doing?

I go into work and the days seem to feel longer..this hasnt happened with this job yet...why now?
nicole hasnt called back yet..i need a good conversation...she'll tell me how it is..
We'll get coffee, ill show her my sore finger and she'll tell me what a fucking retard i am. Explain my weekend and twice that.

I'll get high. I have no pot. But ill find a way.

I still smell like alcohol and cigarettes.
Becca- you need to realize what your doing to everyone around you. Ignoring the people who really care...isnt going to end up well when you really need them.

I need to eat some food.

1 dead streetlightkisses

[22 Dec 2006|09:22pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I'm going to drink like a fish for thomas's birthday.

beware drunk phone calls

1 dead streetlightkisses

hm. [20 Dec 2006|10:13pm]
Ive missed writing in my livejournal. I think i have been so caught up in everything and myspace.
So, if i remember..i will continue to write here.

oh yess.
1 dead streetlightkisses

[23 Dec 2005|05:18pm]
when im gone when you wake up, please dont cry...
2 dead streetlightkisses

[30 Nov 2005|05:46pm]
When you realize that you have time for me, call me.
2 dead streetlightkisses

[19 Nov 2005|02:29am]
[ mood | scared ]

I don't care who you've been sleeping with these days. You're outta my hair. It's growing just above my smiling face that I wear. Every night I drink myself to sleep. Not thinking about you. Not thinking about anything at all. I don't care who you've been dining with these days. It's more than fair. Much rather be drinking anyways with my friend Peter, who lives so fucking far away. Yet not as far as you, even though you live right down my fucking street. And I'm tired of sleeping with myself. I'm tired, all these drinks and drugs no longer help. I'm tired of lying about not thinking of you. Maybe my friend Peter can tell me what to do. I don't care who you've been kissing on these days. It's out of my hands and in my mouth with such a pleasant taste. I need a beer to wash it all away without a trace. And then I'll drink 23 more to wipe this stupid smile off my fucking face. I'm tired of sleeping with myself. I'm tired, all those drinks and drugs no longer help. I'm tired of lying about not thinking of you. Maybe my friend Peter can tell me what to do.

3 dead streetlightkisses

[02 Sep 2005|12:48am]
[ mood | sad ]

I feel like I haven't slept in days. This migraine won't go away no matter how many pills I take. The big Move is comming up fast. With everyone and everything. I dont think I know what to do with myself. Nannie got in a car accident a few days ago, she just shouldn't be driving.
I do the same thing everyday except for wednesdays, my day off.

It's weird. My mom has been saying "i love you" after every phone conversation...thats never happened before. Nope. Never, maybe when I was like 10 or something.
Only one other person says "i love you".

I hate my car. No one will buy it.

I think I need to get out more.
Back when I was 16, I was out and surrounded by people at all times. I thought they were friends though, but sadly it was just an ending episode of another year.
I manage to fuck up regardless.
The people who claim to be my friends now, I must seem like I take advantage of them. But in all reality, if I've lost the bestest friends I thought I had, Why go through the heartbreak of losing more? I contradict myself constantly, they call me, they want to see me, they care, they are my friends. Or friend. They'll never leave me, or rather...she won't.
It's kind of funny. I dont realize these things unless its put infront of my face.
I've sat, walked, and drove around for a few days, thinking.
For the first time in two years I cried to my mom tonight. It felt awkward after. She sat and listened, thats the first. I don't know, I dont feel any better.
I feel weird. And theres no explaination at all. I think its from all the thinking.
Maybe I should fucking answer my fucking phone.

Maybe my purpose in life is to make people think I'm a piece of shit.


I accomplish nothing.

and, I probably will never.

6 dead streetlightkisses

[03 Aug 2005|05:32pm]
Im ovulating..which means im going to bleed soon...which means im going to be emotional until then, which means im going to cry a lot.

Yep. I suck some major assage, my apologies.

Its my fault. It all is, which is okay because i suppose im fine with taking any kind of blame.

oh well. heh.
3 dead streetlightkisses

[25 Jul 2005|03:16pm]
Maybe it's time for an update? A comment said so.
So lets see, I worked at the olive garden for like..3 months? Somewheres around that time. I just quit. Right now I'm doing odd jobs of construction for 2-500 a day. That wont last very long.
Uhm. I'm allergic to latex. It sucks.
I'm moving soon. Uhm. Theres nothing more to tell. I rode a quad around the other day. It was sweet. Yep.

Time to eat.

1 dead streetlightkisses

[28 Jun 2005|02:42pm]
I love my best friend too.

ugly fat fuck.
4 dead streetlightkisses

[22 Jun 2005|11:04am]
work again. in like 3 mins. i think i want to go to NH this weekend. Yes. i do. Im selling my car for 600. yep..i am. greatness.

ok, i shall get dressed and such.

I drunkenly fell down stairs..it hurts. kiss it. *pout*

2 dead streetlightkisses

[16 Jun 2005|03:54pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Waiting feels horrible.

Im too impatient for this shit.

3 dead streetlightkisses

[16 Jun 2005|01:33am]
im going to be up all night...

[16 Jun 2005|12:53am]
i dont like missing you.

for you [15 Jun 2005|01:51am]
1 dead streetlightkisses

[14 Jun 2005|11:53pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Promising to be honest does nothing, if anyone wanted to know.



[12 Jun 2005|10:49am]
I have to work soon, thats nothing new..I know. Trish wrote me an email saying she got to New Zealand okay. Bah, I miss her.

I'm getting a one eye'd pug.


[10 Jun 2005|03:41pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

I've applied to Sage and University of Alb.
Now we wait...hmmmm

School here I come....
Thank god I'm doing something with myself.

Time to go to work...Bah.


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